Go Hug a Puppy

Cats have a withering look that is universal to the species. The message that look conveys is the equivalent to our "Take a hike" or "Go jump in the lake." Meaning their respect for you has sunk low--very low.

It is "the look" that means:

Go hug a puppy.

But before we get to the chilling story, let me take a moment to introduce you to a certain little feline whose only expression in the above photo is one of confusion at the black lens stuck in his face.

Friends, this is our new kitten. His name is AJ Tiger John Wayne.

For short, we're calling him AJ Tiger John Wayne.

He was given to us by our very dear friends a mere two days ago and seems to be adjusting well.

I wish I could say the same for other furry members of the family. Call me something of an idealist or an optimist, but I thought that their meeting would be somewhat different. I did. 

Like maybe Oliver would look into those sweet innocent eyes and be won forever. 

Like maybe Oliver would observe this younger version of himself and be given the incentive to lose weight.

Like maybe Oliver would wrap his arm around the little fella and decide that he was the Simba to his Mufasa.

Reader, that was not how it played out. The actual meeting involved, well, hissing.

So much for dreams of Oliver playing surrogate daddy. Does anyone know where I can return the "Proud Parent" cat-sized T-shirt I bought? It's an X-Large.

Have you ever seen a cat sulk? I hadn't either until Sunday. With a hurt glance in our direction that said "I thought you were better than this," Oliver flicked his tail and retreated to a spot on the outside grill. Guilt ensued on our part and we dashed over to console him.

Ohh. I could literally feel the disgust. No, what's more I could see it with every look he gave us.

"Oliver? Oliver? Come on, Oliver, perk up."

Go hug a puppy.

"Oliver? Please don't be this way. We still love you."

Go hug a puppy.

"Oliver? Please purr or something? You're making me feel guilty."

Good. Go hug a puppy.

Well, it's taken about two days, but Oliver isn't shooting imaginary fiery darts at the kitten anymore. Either he's coming around or is really enjoying the leftover canned kitten food that comes in an assortment of flavors. It could be that. Possibly.

As for AJ Tiger John Wayne, he seems happy and hasn't been telling us to go hug any puppies. We're thinking we'll keep him around.