It is a truth universally acknowledged that a rainy day becomes much cheerier when one is in possession of a turquoise umbrella.

2/15/11

The Morning After V-Day

When we looked out our window this morning, we were greeted with the sight of an interesting object in the pasture in front of our house.

It was red and pink and looked to be a cluster of Valentine's Day balloons. And it had attracted quite a crowd.

Feeling very Pioneer Woman-ish, I ventured out to the front yard for a better look.

Even from a distance, it was easy to see the cows' confusion and trepidation at the odd creature that had so boldly deposited itself in their field. And understandably so, for most of them were young. Single. Innocent.


From my vantage point, it appeared that one of the older and more worldly-wise cows was cautioning the others against investigating the thing.


 I even observed her head-butting some of her fellow members of the bovine family in effort to keep them away.

"Don't go near it! It reeks of hearts, candy, insignificant chocolates, and an enormous amount of money needlessly spent on one day of the year. It's commercialized love. Hang on to your innocence while you can!"


But one young fellow just couldn't resist the temptation of Cupid's Call and went in for a closer look. Notice the wise cow behind him, whispering to the others. "I did my best...I have done all I can do."


After a while, he finally worked up the nerve to get as close as is bovine-ly possible to it. Nothing happened.
His hopes of finding something new and exciting deflated, the fluttering ceased in his bovine heart and grass suddenly became interesting again.

He did cast a hard glance in the direction of the thing one more time, as if a scorching look might cause it to disappear into oblivion. Perhaps he felt a sense of bitterness in regard to all the empty promises that Valentine's Day had made him. Before judging him, I would like to say that I'm sure we've all experienced that feeling at one point or another. Let him have his moment.

  The others followed his lead and moved off, their run-in with V-Day supposedly over.

On the way, one hopeless romantic wistfully glanced back before succumbing to peer pressure and walking away.

I decided that this would be a good time to get a close-up of the balloons and so crawled under the electric fence and made my way across the field.
So this is the message that poor young cow was met with. Now perhaps we can better understand his feelings. He likely had no significant other to tell him this the day before and now that fact was mocking him in the face with the words written on this deflated balloon.

Depressing, really.
Cute monkey balloon sandwiched in the middle though.

I would like to point out here that I did contemplate throwing the balloons in the air to kind of, well, scare the cows, but I immediately dismissed that thought.

That's when this happened:

 The balloons were suddenly air-borne, carried by the wind (or Cupid, perhaps?) towards those hapless cows. Notice the look on that one's face.
It sailed across the field, clawing and groping at any cow it could get its strings on.

Therefore, their reaction was understandable.
I guess considering that I had been the one standing beside the balloons when they suddenly attacked the cows, I should have guessed that this look meant, "You are so dead."

But I was clueless. 

Read on.

 I had to admit that was laughing my head off as the balloons continued to chase any cow that stood in the way. If any of them doubted the reality of Valentine's Day, they were made believers today.
 The balloons continued until the wind finally ceased and they came to rest on the outside of the electric fence.

Not a hoof or head moved as the cows watched. It didn't move again.

And y'all, I kid you not, that's when those cows turned their heads in unison in my direction. I glanced back. Um, there wasn't anyone behind me...or beside me...so they must be looking at...well, me.

And at the same time, they began a slow, deliberate walk. Toward me.


 Me: "Uh, is something...wrong? I know I laughed about the balloons attacking you, but you've got to admit it was-- Wait, I was standing by the balloons when-- You think, I did it- y'all, you gotta believe me. It was not me."

Even after the observances of the day, it remains to be seen if cows can understand the language of love.

But I can tell you one thing.

They can't understand plain English. 'Cause they kept coming. 

 See this? It means the road that separates our house from the cow pasture is a crossing for tractors.

It became a hastily made crossing for Erin's today.

Thus concludes my morning after Valentine's Day.

Much love,
~Erin

8 thoughts:

Bethany said...

ROTFLOL!! You put it wonderfully. :) Poor cows...perhaps we should plan a valentine exchange next year.

Crista "Moriah" said...

That is sooo hilarious!!! :D

~Moriah

Kara said...

Thats hilarious! :) A Wondeful "thing" to wake up to. lol

Vicki said...

Oh my goodness, Erin!! That's one of the funniest things I've read in a very long time! What a terrific photo essay!

You could write a whole story based on finding someone's Valentine's balloons tossed into a field, too ... a romantic day gone wrong, perhaps? A fight in the moonlight? Very interesting. ;-)

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm going to show this to my brother and sister later on!

Love in Christ,
Vicki

mandy said...

I love the photos and story behind it! It's all quite fabulous!

Erin said...

Bethany- LOL Sounds like a plan...I honestly do believe we have some lonely hearts out there in that cow pasture. ;)

Moriah- Yes, it was definitely something else...like watching a comedy unfold in your front yard! lol

Kara- Sure was! I'm stumbling out of bed with a sibling yanking on my arm, "You have GOT to come see this." LOL

Vicki- I'm glad you enjoyed it! Now you've got my imagination going about how the balloons got there! Hmmm...future blog post story? ;)

Mandy- Thanks! It was quite the interesting morning. :)

Bailey said...

Before, I did not understand bovine love and war. Now, I think I could quite nicely write an essay.

It's not right to read something so hilarious before nine in the morning....:D

Erin said...

:D I am very glad you gleaned some useful information from all of this, Bailey. I learned that cows will use anyone in sight for their scape-goat, er, scape-cow, uh, whatevah. ;)